Yes, that’s me on the centre picture, trying to survive the shortened night by my daughter (2 years old back then), waking up consistently around 5.40am.

I have had this issue of early wakes (i.e. before 6 am) with both my girls at different stages and ages. So when I am hearing friends with kids the same age going to bed at the same time as mine that wake up at 8.30am, it makes me so jealous!

The hardest part for me was the impact it had on my own sleep and feeling rested (it’s amazing how an hour of additional sleep makes a difference on my energy levels the next day). It also impacted my relationship with my kids and how I then acted as a grumpy and snappy mother. Every morning, I would become obsessed with how early they had woken up rather than kissing them good morning and enjoy being with them.

So it is with a mix of proven practical solutions to tackle early wakes + coaching myself on accepting what is that I was able to make the most out of the situation. Continue to read below to learn more ⬇️

1. Practical solutions that worked with early wakes

   I am sharing below tactical solutions that you can go through and implement in 3 simple steps - it really helped us move the waking time past 6am.

   #Step 1: Rule out any structural sleeping problem or sickness with your doctor

   👉It goes without saying, but make sure to check with your paediatrician or doctor first if you are worried about the amount of sleep your child is getting. I did that myself and got reassured both girls were sleeping the right amount for their age - just on the lower range of the spectrum! Note that most children are expected to wake up between 6-8am when put to bed around 8pm and with a consistent daily routine.

   👉Also, your child might be waking up early from time to time due to sickness: teething, coughing, or just having a cold.

   #Step 2: Review the sleep environment

   👉Put blinders on to keep the room dark: I found morning light (especially in the summer), would cause my girls to wake up much earlier than usual. So try making the room very dark by adding extra blinders will often be sufficient in itself to eliminate the 5am waking.

   👉Maintain the room temperature stable: make sure your child is warm enough, especially in winter. Bedrooms can get really cold around 5am and cause your child to wake up. Use a warm sleeping bag (merino). Consider using a little heater in the bedroom to maintain the temperature around 19 degrees.

   👉 Block noises: do you have neighbours waking up early? Or planes starting to fly at 5am(in London, that’s definitely the case)? Or a sibling waking the other one? Some kids can be very sensitive when it comes to noises, especially in lighter stages of sleep. We have a white noise machine that the girl’s love and it has really helped blocking out the noises.

   #Step 3: Review sleeping routines and habits

   👉Bedtime: Make sure bedtime happens approximately at the same time each day (ideally start the bedtime routine between 7-8pm depending on their age and your lifestyle)

   👉Naps: Make sure the total daily sleep hours, number and timing of naps is appropriate for their age, as early waking can be caused both by under tiredness or overtiredness. Note for example that a nap too early in the day can reinforce the early wake the next day as it shifts their rhythm. If you want to know more about age appropriate daily routines, you can get my free baby routines guide by clicking here and send me a quick email.

   👉Habits:  Sometimes waking up at 5am has become a habit for your child (i.e. they are waking up awaiting a certain response from you or their environment). It could be that they are in a habit of watching TV straight after waking up, but also could be having a bottle/feed, or if your child does not know how to get back to sleep independently in general. Especially for younger babies and children, don’t rush when they start making tiny noises around 5am, as you would only be reinforcing a habit wake. Wait a couple minutes to see if they will go back to sleep on their own before jumping in and start the day.

When everything else fails you are also allowed to (I have definitely done it more than once…):

👉Put on earplugs

👉Take them in your bed and see if they would fall back asleep (sometimes, not always!)

👉Teach your children to play quietly in the living room/ bedroom before the others wake up

👉Teach your children (over 2.5 years old) to respond to a smart clock (such as the gro clock)

👉Let them watch TV first thing so you can sleep (beware this can become a habit, see above - but as I have seen recently on the @mamapsychologists instagram “If giving your child screentime means you can take care of your own needs, DON’T FEEL GUILTY” - I love this.

2. Accepting what is and taking advantage of it

I have had to keep in mind that what’s in our power as parents is only to be able to control the environment (and try to implement all the solutions mentioned above for example), but not if our children will sleep or not (we cannot force them!). Resisting “what is” is just exhausting.

The more I remind myself to stop resisting or control what by definition is outside of my control, the more I am able to embrace another mindset which is “Everything happens for me”.

In practice, it sound like “What if I could take advantage of them waking up early and spend more time with them?” or “What if I were so lucky to have kids waking up early?”. This really made we think:

❤️I get to see them both in the evening and morning whilst working full time

❤️My husband can see them during the week (as he often comes back from work after their bedtime) - what a chance to carve out some dad time!

❤️We are never in a rush to get ready for school

❤️We can even go to the playground or in the park before school

❤️We get to decorate the christmas tree (6.19am on picture 4)

❤️We have time to play swimming pool on the sofa (pic. 7)

❤️and the best of all, we get to watch the sunrise together…